Hallo July! Crazy you are here already! But I am ready for you! I will embrace this month and am excited to enjoy and create.
June was a bit hectic and at the same time super slow. It’s very interesting to reflect on the whole month of June. Part of it I wrote about in more detail in my last post.
When the boys and I were stuck at this small house in the middle of nowhere in rainy England, I was forced to actually slow down. There wasn’t really anything I could do to keep me busy. At some point, I had cleaned the whole house and was on top of dishes and laundry and the boys were happily playing musical instruments or on their ipads, I was left with just me and time to tackle my to-do list. But I was paralysed. I spent hours on social media to distract myself which didn’t do me well. Too much absorbing and consuming made me feel like a failure. So many examples of great coaches who have a thousand clients and millions of Dollars, made my confidence shrink. It seemed like everybody was creating and in action and I was just sitting there, being cold in rainy England. I felt like a victim, imprisoned in my own head. I was totally aware though what was going on and still couldn’t and didn’t want to get myself out of it and just watched and sat with it. I also meditated a lot while we were there and felt all the feels and everything that came up.
I was happy and relieved when the weather got better and we moved on to a different town and a different housesit.
There I was active again. We took the dog for a walk, we spent more time outside at the playground or exploring in the small town and then my husband joined us again and we spent time together reconnecting and then visiting London for 2.5 days, followed by Munich for 2.5 days. I love these busy days exploring and spending time with my family. But there is a different side to it why I love to be busy.
These times keep me from having to go deep. I distract myself from living my calling. I distract myself from serving others, who are not my family. I distract myself from doing what’s really good for me. from showing up!
Why is it so hard to show up?
Showing up takes courage. Knowing that it’s the best for myself and for other people is not enough to actually do it. Showing up means facing my fear of rejection and criticism, my fear of not being good enough, my fear of not being confident enough.
Consuming social media in these time just catapults me down in the downward spiral. And that’s exactly the opposite of what is needed in times like that. Of course, I compare myself to others and of course I feel like everybody else is so much more confident. Everybody seems to have it down so much more than me….
But enough of this! It’s time to shine again!
It’s not true! They all have the same feelings and have the same topics! They have gone through the same and will go though the same phases again. We are all human beings. We all have our childhood traumas and have felt not good enough at some point.
I know that I am enough! I just need to embrace it and get into action mode. All this energy that I have to live a very busy life distracting myself from the really important things, I can put into serving other people and feeling fulfilled myself. This makes me feel grounded. When I neglect this part of me, I never feel really balanced. This inner voice is always present and nagging and reminding me of my purpose and my big effort of ignoring it. And this takes away from being in the moment when being with my family.
So, here I am.
I am a living example of living my own freedom and doing what serves me most, at least most of the time. I am passionate and give others the space to explore themselves and their values. I am patient and honest. I am curious and love to connect with unique, inspiring and beautiful people. I am excited to see them and support them to see themselves in a new light and help them live a fulfilled life on their own terms. I have a lot of energy and living my purpose gives me even more.
Being back on a schedule gives me the time and opportunity to tackle my fears. I am using my 3 hours today for reflection while writing this post.
I am available for 1-1-coachings. Please get in touch or schedule an appointment right here.
I also have big plans for the next four weeks. I will challenge myself with sharing my ‘very own freedom’ on Instagram. Please follow me on Instagram @annikahaymancoaching if you are interested. I am in the process of putting together the pictures, so stay tuned!
I am also working on getting back to making a short video once a week to report about life and travel and I will offer a bunch of free coaching sessions to different topics very soon. Please stay tuned for that too!
In the meantime I would love to have a conversation about what you do to distract yourself from living your purpose. What’s your go-to when wasting time that could be well spend, just because you are afraid of showing up? Are you aware of what fears are holding you back?
Please let me know in the comments or on FB or schedule a free exploratory session with me right here.
I’m looking forward to connecting with you!
With much love and gratitude, aNNika <3