Are you somebody who loves to be creative in finding your own answers?
Or are you somebody who likes to ask others for ideas?
I see this a lot in my own coachings and also when I am being coached, that there is a big difference in getting to an answer myself or asking my coach or other teachers for ideas.
For me personally it sometimes feels like my coach already knows the answer she is trying to guide me to and this triggers bad memories. I feel small, sometimes dumb, worth less. I feel under pressure to perform. It feels like being in school and being put on the spot and then not knowing the answer is no fun. It’s an uncomfortable place to be in for me.
Today I can trust that there is no bad meaning behind it from her side. She is not like my former teachers who wanted to make me feel bad and practice more for whatever subject they were teaching. She has no intention to make me feel bad, nor to put me under pressure AND mostly she really doesn’t know the answer. So, I can feel free to explore what feels right to me and trust that if I can’t come up with something quickly, she will lovingly guide me to an answer, more so it’s my personal unique answer. The answer that will serve me most. She is there to help me find clarity.
And that’s the thing. I hire her to support me in finding my truth and what’s best for me. Her answers to my problems might feel totally wrong to me and my life situation. I want to stand in my own power.
By guiding me gently through a problem solving process also instills trust inside of me that I will be able to find my answers without her. It will build trust in myself and therefore a confidence in myself that I do have everything I want to know already inside of me. I can trust that when I act with my own belief system in mind, my answers will always be the right ones for myself. If I want to live an independent life from what society wants me to do, I need to get creative and actually create this life.
And this is exactly what I want to help my clients achieve too. You can’t be happy and fulfilled if you are only hustling to fulfill society’s expectations. You are loosing your inner self’s worth.
So, being in the shoes of a coach now, it’s sometimes hard to not answer a question like: So, what do I do now? or How can I change this? or What do you want me to do?
I feel like I suck if I don’t have an answer for them or don’t tell them my idea of an answer.
But it is so much more worth for the client herself to search for the answer within her. I know that my clients are creative beings and that they come up with answers I could never have thought of, but that totally work for them.
Imagine how proud you are when you come up with a plan of actions that you want to establish in your own life. And at the end it’s kind of like a game too. If something doesn’t seem to work out, it’s time to try something else. But if you never try, you never get to know yourself and the way you like things to be done.
And if I always told you an answer to your question, you would be totally helpless once our coaching commitment is over and you never learned to trust that you can come up with an answer yourself.
You might say that you like to be open to many answers and like to try different things. And yes, this might be a method too, but imagine you are always going from one to the other, always trying new things, always having your antennas stretched out to get more ideas, your head will never stop wanting more input. Your mind probably gets to a point where it’s totally overloaded and you will be on the search for peace, peace of mind like it’s said so beautifully.
I think, when you get to a place of contentment that you know that you will find a good answer to for every question that arises, because you know what you really want in life, you can stop looking around for answers outside of you.
From an energetic point of view you send out lots of energy too when you are searching on the outside. Energy that could empower you if it stayed inside of you. At the same time, wherever these energy holes are, other energies (e.g. other people’s opinions) can also come in, which can drain you even more of your own energy levels, especially when they didn’t even ask if you want them.
It’s very interesting to think that when you are a person that searches a lot, other people assume that you want to hear their opinions too and pretty much unload them on you … don’t you think?
For me personally, I try to ground myself and find answers deep inside. I try to stay in balance and live a life that after my own beliefs. Only this way I can truly feel fulfilled and trust my judgement. We are all unique human beings and all have a unique view on life in this world, so why not create a life that is exactly the way we want it to be? A life that feels warm and cozy and filled with love for others and ourselves.
Let’s get to this place together and learn from each other how we can find our own inner truths!
Please get in contact if you would like to experience a coaching session with me!
With much love and gratitude,
aNNika <3