I’ve been meditating once or twice daily for over a month now and have been trying to go deeper in my inner truth and trying to find out what really drives me. Lately lots of childhood memories seem to come up that ground me even more in my confidence that I am on the right path of living my purpose.
One of these I would like to share today and make it an example of how ‘your calling’ will show up like a red thread in your life. Many people are on the journey to find their purpose and have no idea where to look and where to start. A calling calls you and will show up again and again until you listen and act on it and even then it’ll make sure that you work through every single facade of it.
When I work with clients I often help them remember events in childhood where they felt a particular feeling. It’s easier to connect to today when having this feeling deep inside from an innocent child’s perspective.
In a meditation a couple of days ago, I remembered how as a small child, maybe 6 years old, I would tell people that I would never want to have my own children. If I was going to be a mom, I would want to adopt. I was of the opinion that there are so many children in this world already that are unfree and don’t have parents to look after them and make sure that they are safe. I now remember vividly my certainty about this topic. I felt empathy for children that were in a bad place and especially the freedom part played a big role in it.
Most of my childhood and until my tweens I didn’t feel free either and I think, I somewhat included myself in this group of children that suffered.
Back then I still thought that I would be the one who would be there for many children. I decided to go the path to become a teacher to be in close contact with my students. Very quick though I realised that a teacher can’t have that much impact on individual children, especially the ones that suffer. Teachers these days are so bombarded and packed with work that they need to get through, there is no time for the really important connection between people. And especially no time to show them what is really important in life, after school. It’s totally a burnout job when you want to change the way children feel, but can’t because of limits that come from the outside.
Then it was time to have my own children. At that point, for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to have my own children. I was curious to go through the process of pregnancy and carrying this human being inside of me. I enjoyed being pregnant and didn’t really have any complications. The birth of my first child happened at home in our bathtub which had been my wish all along. I felt that this was the only way that he would come into this world without any unnatural invasion and I could would enjoy it in a natural way to become a mother. I wanted the best and most natural possible start for us.
I was glad that breastfeeding him worked for us for 18 months until I was 6 months pregnant with my second son. Many choices I made with my kids where motivated of doing it better than the way I grew up. That’s a very common mechanism, since the only birth and childhood we experienced was our own… So, usually we do it the same as our mothers did or exactly the opposite…
My second son taught me what freedom really means and how it’s lived. He has always been his own self and does not let me hurry, not change him. I am in awe by his confidence and I can see in him how humans are born perfect, with a perfect sense of who they are. Going through life we are shaped and imprinted on and end up on a journey to find ourselves again, because we lost ourselves on the way.
I want children to grow up in a way that they can stay totally true to themselves! If they grow up confident and knowing of what they came here for, they could live life right from the get go, they wouldn’t have to get lost to start finding themselves again…
I opened a kids’ clothing label a few years back. I wanted children to look like children and wanted them to have the opportunity to pick colourful fabrics and create their own clothes that I sewed for them. I wanted them to feel really confident and comfortable. I wanted to give them the chance to express themselves the way they wanted. What I realised though was that children can only feel free if their caregivers let them. Kids couldn’t wear this kind of clothes if the adults didn’t want to pay for it or didn’t agree with some crazy colourful combinations the kids would pick.
So, in order to have our children grow freely, I need to look at the parents first. If parents feel stuck and unfree, their children will not be able to grow up freely either. They will always run against walls of people wanting to change them.
My vision is to support women (and men) to find their inner truth and define their values that they want to live for. Only this way they will find the freedom and a fulfilled life that is worth living. By doing the work for themselves they will automatically see their children as whole human beings from the start. They will judge less and love unconditionally more. They will respect their kids as humans. They will set their boundaries and respect the children’s’ boundaries too. They understand that they have choices and that real freedom comes from making informed decisions.
Of course not everything I do now is about children. I also support women that don’t have children. I just think that I never really lost the desire of helping unfree children in this world, that I had when I was 5 or 6 years old. I think that there are events in everybody’s life that seem to come up again and again and most likely they are connected to your calling or purpose or whatever you want to call it.
I feel confident that I can help many women, men and children to feel alive and free and find their special place in this world that holds abundance and freedom for them.
If you resonate with anything I wrote, please get in touch through this website or at [email protected]. I am looking forward to connecting with you!
Be free and adventurous! Annika <3