Wouldn’t it be awesome to live a life of no bullshit?

A life where everybody can do and say as they please and what serves them, without having to worry about hurting somebody else?

A life of living one’s own truth, always thriving for one’s highest potential?

A life where everybody can feel confident, fulfilled and happy in one’s own skin…where there is no room for judgements of all kind?

A life in which we are free from our past wounds and have no trouble to live fully in the moment?

I’d love to live in a world like this and see my children grow up in. Just writing about it, fills me with the feelings of abundance, freedom, adventure, lightness, flow and happiness.

And I do think that’s it’s possible that generations to come will grow up in this ‘perfect world’, IF we make the change NOW.

My opinion is that all of the above boils down to all the hurt inner children that are living inside of us and that are trying to mingle and connect, but it doesn’t work out like this. We are all still aching to get the attention that we never got. We are yearning for the feeling of being ok, being loved, being cared for. And while we are searching for this fulfilment, we judge others to make ourselves feel better. We are afraid to speak up, because we don’t want to feel neglected. We don’t even know who we really are, because we’ve always tried so hard to be somebody else who would be liked, loved and attended to. We lost ourselves and are now so involved in the role(s) that we’ve been playing for so long, that we fear the change. We fear to wake up to find out that what we’ve been living is really a big pile of (bull)shit.

But we don’t know better, so we just let life happen which will make our children have the same problems that we once didn’t have to courage to solve.

BUT there is hope. It’s in our hands to let our children grow up with less baggage, less wounds, more confidence in being themselves and never loosing who they came to this world to be.

We are the role-models of the kids in the world! We are the ones who can change and get out of this misery that we’ve been in, that we have inherited from our parents and they from theirs and so on…

Let’s get back to who we really are and speak out loud what we really need!

I see children struggling being able to communicate what their needs are. No wonder! Do we show them how to do it? Do we freely communicate to them and with each other what we need? Do we even know what we need? Do we think that it’s important to get what we need? Or do we suffer and play martyrs to only meet other people’s needs and never our own? (Yes, moms, That’s many of us! And husbands, not only your wife’s wellfare counts!)

And isn’t it funny when we are upset at, for example, our partners when they don’t give us what we need? We don’t tell them, but they are supposed to know?!

So, let’s practice to actually find out what we need and then getting it by asking for it or just taking the time to take care of ourselves!

When I was little, I was told so many times that I shouldn’t be like ‘this’. I shouldn’t say things ‘this’ way, because that would be hurtful to others.

Now, at 37, I am still unlearning what I was taught and have been thinking for so long, that I am not a good communicator. I hurt people with my words. I am a cold, unloving person.

And I believed it! And by believing the above, of course my communication skills were messed up! From early on, I tried to stay away from arguments. I was told that I wasn’t good at arguing. I never want to hurt people, especially not people close to me! So, I never learned, nor practiced to have arguments that didn’t have a lot of emotions involved and where I communicated what I wanted in a kind and clear manner.

I still can get very defensive easily. It’s hard for me to focus on the topic and not taking everything personal and a big struggle is to actually ask when I am not a hundred percent sure that I understood something right. I can still go far in my head, thinking about what words might have meant, but all those are assumptions and not reality.

 

But for my sake and for my children, I practice to stay in the moment and not let my childhood wounds and insecurities take over. Everybody can have their own opinions and that is the most wonderful and inspiring thing in the world to me, that we are all different.

And if we let our children be different and don’t judge them, just take them the way they are, they will grow up feeling confident and secure in the ways they are asking for their needs to be met. And most importantly, they will take themselves seriously and won’t ever forget who they actually are.

And we all should never forget that we are ok the way we are! We are enough! We are loved and cared for. We are unique and beautiful. Deep inside of us there is a place where we are confident, because there is only truth, our own truth. Let’s connect to that truth a bit more. Everyday a little more.

And by that we are taking care of ourselves and at the same time we are the no-bullshit role models that our children need.

I would like to hear from YOU!

What’s one of your wounds that you are working on healing to feel more yourself?

How do you know that you are taking enough care of yourself to be the person you want to be?

I can help you find clarity and get to the limiting beliefs that are still holding you back.

Let’s connect! Please feel free to book a session or just an hour of connecting with me!

Here is my schedule: https://calendly.com/annikahaymancoaching

 

With lots of love and gratitude,

aNNika <3